The art of caring for the sick

Leonardo Boff

07/07/2013

Opinión

^-A ⁺A

Over the last few years I have worked extensively on caring, above all in the books Knowing How to Care and The Necessary Caring. Caring, more than a technique or a virtue, is, among other things, an art and a new paradigm of respect - loving, diligent and participative - for nature and for human relationships. I have attended many gatherings and conferences of health professionals, with whom I have been able to talk and learn, because caring is the natural ethic of this sacred activity. I retake here some ideas relating to the attitudes that must be present in those who care for the sick at home or in a hospital. Let's look at some of them.

Compassion: is the capacity of putting oneself in the place of the other and to feel with him/her, so that the sick person feels that s/he is not alone in his/her pain.

Essential caressing: to touch the other is to return to him/her the certitude that s/he belongs to humanity; the touch of a caress is a manifestation of love. Frequently the illness is a sign that the patient wants to communicate, to talk, to be listened to. The patient looks for meaning in the illness. The nurse and the physician, man or woman, can help the patient open up and talk. According to testimony of a nurse: "When I touch you, I care for you, when I care for you I touch you… If you are elderly I care for you when you are tired, I touch you when I embrace you; I touch you when you are crying, I care for you when you can no longer walk".

Sensible assistance: The patient needs help and the nurse wants to care. The convergence of these two movements generates reciprocity and overcomes the sense of an unequal relationship. To create support that helps maintain a relative autonomy, assistance must be prudent: encouraging the patient to do what s/he can, and doing it or assisting the patient only when s/he cannot do it alone.

To return the trust in life: What the patient most desires is to recuperate the lost equilibrium and be healthy again. Hence one must be decisive, returning to the patient the trust in life, in his/her interior energies, physical, psychical and spiritual, because they act as true medicines. One must encourage symbolic gestures charged with affection. It is not rare that the drawings of a little girl elicit in her sick father as much energy and good spirit as if he had taken the best medications. Help the patient welcome the human condition: Normally the patient asks himself with surprise: Why did this happen to me now, when all was going so well for me? Why if I am still young has this grave illness attacked me? Why are family, social and labor relationships cut off by the illness? Such questioning is a humble reflection on the condition humaine, exposed at every moment to unexpected risks and vulnerabilities.

Any healthy person can fall ill. And all illness refers to health, which is the principal point of reference. But we can not jump higher than our shadow, and there is no way but to welcome life as it is: in health and illness, strong and fragile, passionate for life and accepting of eventual illness and, finally, death itself. In those moments the patients make profound reflections on life. They are not satisfied by the purely scientific explanations (always necessary) given by physicians, but long for a meaning that comes from a profound dialogue with the Self, or from the wise word of a priest, pastor or spiritual person. They then retake the everyday values that previously went unnoticed, redefining their life plan and maturing. And in the end, they are at peace.

To accompany the patient in the great journey: There is an inevitable moment when everyone, even the most elderly person in the world, has to die. It is the law of life, being subject to death. It is a decisive journey. One must be prepared for a life guided by generous, responsible and beneficial moral values. However, for the great majority, death is suffered as an assault and a kidnapping in the face of which one is impotent. And finally one understands that everything must be relinquished.

The discreet, respectful presence of the nurse, offering a hand, whispering words of comfort, inviting the patient to embrace the encounter with the Light and go to the womb of God, who is Father and Mother of goodness, can help the moribund leave life serenely, with gratitude for the life one has lived.

If the patient has a religious orientation, whisper in the ear the consoling words of Saint John: If your heart accuses you, remember that God is greater than your heart (John 1, 3, 20). The patient can give him/herself up with tranquility to God, whose heart is pure love and mercy. To die is to fall into the arms of God.

Here caring reveals itself much more as an art than a technique, and presupposes in the health professional a density of life, spiritual meaning, and a vision that extends beyond life and death.

To reach that phase is the mission that nurses and physicians, men or women, must seek, in order to be fully the servants of life. There is value to all in these wise words: The tragedy of life is not death, but that we let ourselves die inside while we are still living.

- Leonardo Boff Theologian-Philosopher Earthcharter Commission

(Free translation from the Spanish sent by Melina Alfaro, cybermelinaalfaro@bandalibre.com, done at Refugio del Rio Grande, Texas, EE.UU.)

https://www.alainet.org/en/articulo/77490